"No More Mr. Nice Group"

I just reread an article from Leadership magazine, Summer 2005, with the title "No More Mr. Nice Group." It is about five practices essential to move "small groups beyond polite 'sharing' to the disciplines that change lives." Maybe these are helpful to us as we reflect on how we are doing. I'll summarize the key points. The article was written by John Ortberg.

"Simply meeting with a small group does not automatically result in spiritual growth. There are certain practices that must be present, spiritual disciplines that must occur, to facilitate the transforming work of Christ in us. The presence of these things is what makes the difference between all-too-typical small groups, and life transforming communities of spiritual formation."

John Ortberg's results from study, observation, and conversations:
1. Confession..."the appropriate disclosure of my brokenness...for the purpose of healing, forgiveness, and spiritual growth." Ortberg suggests guarding against "confession killers: inappropriate use of humor, judgemental statements," etc. Sometimes I notice groups try to fix a problem, when the person sharing just needs to be listened to at that time. Ortberg suggests "we acknowledge the reality of who we are and open ourselves to God's transforming work." I think this is powerful. A small group can be the safe place to be real and not be alone.
2. Application...apply the teachings to real life. Find alternatives in Scripture to live differently. Consider the real ways to live those out. Then, later, talk about how that is going.
3. Accountability...in small groups we can share how intentional we've been with changing through applying what we've learned. The article states that William Paulson said, "It is unlikely that we will deepen our relationship with God in a casual or haphazard manner." Ortberg adds, "People do not drift into becoming loving, joy-filled, patient, winsome world changers. It requires intention and effort. The default mode of the human heart is to drift." Important decisions are made about how to live in response to Scripture and within community. Community is essential to supporting those changes. We can discuss how our "obedience to Christ is going."
4. Guidance..."we help each other learn how to listen to God" and one another. "Every small group should include the question, 'Is anybody facing a significant decision this week?'" The group can support anyone in a struggle, and seek the Spirit's direction in prayer and conversation and listening.
5. Encouragement...commit to each other and love/accept one another as we continue our journey of transformed life. This cannot happen in large gatherings.

"Spiritual formation in community is mostly about loving people, and that is something we can do." Yes indeed!